Friday, September 4, 2009

Mired in Quicksand

I'm very judgmental.

My judgment is turned inward, where I am ruthless at dissecting myself, and my writing. Telling myself to turn off the judgment doesn't work. But the truth is that I could always be healthier, I could always write better, my house could always be cleaner. If I compared myself with perfection, then I would be in a perpetual state of failure.

Mired in the quicksand, unable to move forward.

Instead, I identify the goal, and just point myself in that direction. Movement is the success. As long as I'm actively moving in that direction, I can't fail. I'm not saying that perfection is actually the goal--I find perfect things to be boring.

Instead, as my son says, "Make it more better!"

Recently, I have come across a slew of people who take their judgments and turn them outward toward others. I find this reprehensible. Unless I walk a mile in your shoes, I have no idea what life is like for you, and don't have the authority to judge you on your actions. What gives you the authority to judge me?

That being said, I want to get into other people's shoes. I want to walk a mile. I want to know what motivates others. Not to judge them, but to understand their perspective on things. Because I'm curious. Because I empathize. And maybe, because I'm a writer.

So, c'mon into my messy house. Read my mistake-filled manuscript. Enjoy the chocolate chip cookies. I love that you are here. Come try on my shoes. Leave your judgments at the door.

You are welcome here.


  1. Yum, cookies. And it's time for my breakfast, too.

    My house is a mess. There are unfinished remodeling projects everywhere. Even the bathroom which we had professionally done is unfinished because the contractor disappeared for 3 months. When he finally called, I was in no mood to accept his offer to finish the job.

    I have priiorities for what needs to be done, what can wait - again, and what is on that wish it would get done list. Working full time, writing part time, having the wife and the furry children and my volunteer activities takes everything I've got (and even more - occassionally). I'm constantly re-prioritizing.

    As for judging, I do a lot of that in my head both of me and others. I try to not let that color my life though. I want to know why people do what they do. What motivates them? It's fascinating to me.

  2. Oh, contractors. We are living in the aftermath of major renovations, and there are lots of odds and ends that never got finished.

    Chocolate chip cookies are always high on my list of priorities. Especially for breakfast. Yum.

    You seem to do a good job juggling all the balls that you have in the air right now-- that takes a lot of talent.

    People are fascinating. I find writers to be especially fascinating, because of the way that they (we?) view and think about the world.