I want to say a special thanks to my husband for all his support right now--I'm feeling a little lost towards my writing these days, and it definitely leaks into every other part of my life.
Writing takes such a long time (I was heartened when I read John Green's pep talk for NaNo-ers, and found out it takes him three years to churn out one book) that I cycle in and out of periods of feeling like I'm beating my head against a wall. That even though my writing is getting to the next level through difficult revision, even though I have several other books waiting in the revision queue, even though I know I am moving forward, I don't feel the momentum. I feel mired in mud. Because for all intents and purposes, writing isn't even my part-time job. I spend an hour or two writing a day, on a good day. And it's hard to feel like a career is moving forward with this kind of time commitment. I thought that writing tons of words every day for NaNo would cure that, but each word I type reminds me of how long I will revise this current project. And it discourages me.
I've also been exercising every other day, which really zaps the writing time on those days. So, I may be finding some kind of balance, but I'm not feeling balanced.
And my husband, who doesn't write novels, who doesn't know how incredibly long it takes to complete one (although by now, he's getting an inkling), is nothing but supportive. He believes in me and my writing, and he always lets me know. He puts up with my malaise, and frustration, without even knowing why. Without him and his support, I wouldn't be wearing my writer cap right now.
Happy Birthday, Super Grover. Thanks for always getting me through the roughest stuff, and believing in me even when I don't. Maybe Super Grover will even become my 200th follower!!
Aw, beautiful post, and so glad you have his support, especially when the going gets TOUGH!! Happy birthday to your hubs!!
ReplyDeleteHeather, love the pics. What a cute couple! Happy Belated to your hubby!! Very sweet of you to thank him publicly in your blog!!
ReplyDeleteYes, very a very beautiful poignant post. I hear your worries (it has been a worrisome day in the blog world :() and I am so glad your hubby is their for you that makes all the difference. And this whole thing life, love, friendship, writing it is all just one step at a time. As much as we are trying to get somewhere we still have to be right here in that one to two hours a day. Enjoy them! And thanks so much to your hubby for supporting it and understanding even though he has no idea! xoxoxo
ReplyDeletethis blog post should have been titled: THE MONSTER AT THE START OF THIS ENTRY
ReplyDeletelove and support go a long way in this world. it's good that you recognize and appreciate it.
and don't be too hard on yourself where your writing is concerned. it will come, but only in its own time. for me, there are bursts of enthusiasm followed by weeks of self-doubt when no words seem to be coming at all.
-- Tom
Aw, sweet. Happy b-day to your hubby! And hopefully you'll find your way re: writing again. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a great b-day! Thanks for the link to the John Green post. I love him, so I'm gonna go check that out right away.
ReplyDeleteHang in there Heather. You've already gotten a few books in draft stage. I only have one finished and part of one done in over 6 years. I don't even have an hour lots of days to write. I understand the struggle. But if you love it and I think you do, you'll find your way. Exercise is important too. Just do what you can with your writing. You will finish your books when they are meant to be finished and you'll get published when the time is right. That's what I tell myself on my good days.
ReplyDeleteIf we collab, I think we'd either kill each other or create the most amazing thing ever. I know that's bizarre of me to say, but that's what came to mind.
ReplyDeleteOne persons bizarre makes another person's day. I love your comment, J.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday to Mr. Heather!
ReplyDelete(and I like to think that exercising improves writing to such a degree that the time put into exercise is actually just like putting it into writing...does that make sense?)
Awww. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Super Grover! Thanks for supporting our friend and fellow writer.
ReplyDeleteAnd Heather, we all feel like we are moving in super-slo-mo. You are not alone. (I'm THE slowest reviser on the planet. I fester fester fester over every single detail/word.)
Have a wonderful weekend!
Love,
Lola
I so get your struggle and am also hugely appreciative of my guy (who, incidentally, also just celebrated a birthday). I'm also reminded of what another Martha said here. No, not Martha Stewart, but modern dancer/choreographer Martha Graham: "There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others"
ReplyDelete[from http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/47790.Martha_Graham]
If that doesn't help, how about this? If what we want to create is work that is enduring, then it takes the time it takes. And it's okay if things aren't exactly in balance -- when things feel a bit out of balance, it could mean you're taking risks you need to as a creative spirit.
One final thought, in the words of that great modern philosopher, Dory from Finding Nemo, "Just keep swimming."
M--Thanks!! Hope to see you in the practice room!
ReplyDeleteKelly--Yay for birthdays, and for great support! Thanks!
Tina--Thanks! I agree that there seems to be an equal amount of success and frustration around the writing blogosphere these days. I'm so glad for all the support that keeps us going!!
Tom--I LOVE that title!! Awesome! And, it's good to hear that the creative tide ebbs and flows for other writers as well!
Elana-I can't seem to stay away from writing, so I'm sure I'll find the inspiration again soon!!
Lori--It was fun. I found Green's post to be reassuring.
Natalie--Thanks for the commiseration!! It's so nice to hear that my time spent on a novel isn't an aberration. And thanks so much for the encouragement!!
J--:) I'm hoping for the latter.
T--:) Me too.
Anita--I hear you, and totally agree. I get lots of inspiration while working out, let alone how my writing improves afterward...
Lola--I don't know--I might win that slowest-to-revise race. ;) Thanks so much for the pep talk!! And for the birthday wishes!
Martha--How BEAUTIFUL is your comment and quote!! What truth there is behind it.
I celebrate our friendship! Thanks for the support; I indeed will keep swimming!!