TED Talk Tuesday: Alison Ledgerwood with Getting Stuck in the Negatives (and How to Get Unstuck)

I feel like I have to withstand a lot of rejection on a daily basis, and no, it's not what most of you are thinking. :) It's not from agents. It's much worse.

My kids are growing older and each day they find ways to reject me. :) Some of it is that good, growing up, we-don't-need-your-constant-guidance rejection and some is the hormonal, I'm-mad-at-the-world-so-I'll-start-with-mom rejection.

And, yes, as writers, rejection is a pretty common theme. And one that doesn't go away as you climb the success ladder.

Today's TED talk is about how our brains are wired to hold onto the negative and how it takes work to see the positive.

Take a look and see if you can identify:


I'm going to try to catch myself in the negative, and be more thankful for the positives. Because it's the only way I'm going to survive my kids' puberty. :)

And survive all the rejections.

How are you doing? Do you find yourself getting stuck? What does it take to you get unstuck?

TED Talk Thursday: Jia Jiang and 100 Days of Rejections

As a writer, rejection is an every day occurrence. It's literally what you do with the rejection that makes the difference. And Jia Jiang found something fascinating to do--he decided to seek out rejections.

This TED talk is about what happened when he started trying to desensitize himself to rejection so he could succeed as an entrepreneur.

Does it sound familiar when he says that when he got the rejection that started it all, they told him no, but didn't say why they were saying no? I have to argue that the unknown quality of the rejection makes the rejection that much harder to deal with.

I like to think he started having some fun with rejection. :)



I love when he says he learned that when he opens up to the world, the world opens up to him.

And, how cool is Jackie?

Between Tuesday's TED talk on sharing secrets and this TED talk on rejection, do you have any rejections you are brave enough to share with us?

How many rejections do you think you have to endure before you get desensitized?

Gravity and Tom Shannon's TED Talk: Anti-Gravity Sculptures

So, my TED Talk Tuesdays are happening every day except Tuesdays. What can I say? It's summer.

Yesterday, Superman (9-yrs old) asked me, "Mom, do you know what Law I hate?"

I reviewed the laws that I thought he lived by. It was a short list. "Nope, I can't guess."

"I hate the Law of Gravity."

:)

Knowing my son's love for movement in all directions, I definitely should have guessed that he would actively dislike one that restricted his ability to fly.

And recently, I catch myself frowning. Not because I am feeling emotions connected with the facial expression, but because lost in thought, or in my busy day, I forget to defy gravity. Which allows it to pull my lips down into the frown.

When I googled things that defy gravity, I came across Tom Shannon's Anti-Gravity Sculptures, which are amazing and beautiful and all anchored in some science fiction and some fantasy. As well as science AND gravity. :) So I'd thought I'd share it with you, in case you also forget to defy gravity today.



My favorite quote? "It's sort of surfing on a magnetic field at the crest of a wave."

Poets, eat your hearts out! :)

And without gravity, we wouldn't have enjoyed the "Goblet of Fire" last night (think of what a mess that would have made):

Papa J enjoying gravity.

Last night, at the Writers' Loft, we had a great chat, led by author Anna Staniszewski, about all things Character. We discussed how to build a character with depth, whether a character needs to be likeable, what are some of our favorite characters in literature, and what an agent might mean when they say that they didn't connect with your character. We even had a high-five over the day's agent rejections.

I think that leads to one of the best ways to defy gravity--as writers, we need to extract the best understanding we can from a crit to make our ms better and not get bogged down by negativity and rejections. Which would keep us too tethered to write the way we need to. Dealing with criticism/rejections in a positive/proactive way is an essential act of defying gravity for us all. :)

A shout out to everyone who chooses to defy gravity, but enjoy it as well. :) How do you do it?

Cherry Pie

I'm rereading Madeleine L'Engle's journal, A CIRCLE OF QUIET, and I cherish her story of how she decided to stick out the writing life, after ten years of writing book after unpublished book. (The following excerpts are from pages 20-21 for those who want to follow along.)

But during that decade when I was in my thirties, I couldn't sell anything. If a writer says he doesn't care whether he is published or not, I don't believe him. I care. Undoubtedly I care too much. But we do not write for ourselves alone. I write about what concerns me, and I want to share my concerns. I want what I write to be read. Every rejection slip--and you could paper walls with my rejection slips--was like the rejection of me, myself, and certainly of my amour-propre.

Madeleine recounted all the reasons the publishers gave for turning her novels down. For example, publishers rejected A Wrinkle In Time, in part, because they couldn't figure out whether it was a book for adults or children. Thank goodness for today's YA distinction! Other books were rejected because they began with a death, or were too moral. She believed that the tide would turn when she turned forty. So, on her fortieth birthday, when she received the rejection of a novel which had spent enough time at a publication house to give her hope, she was crushed.

This seemed an obvious sign from heaven. I should stop trying to write. All during the decade of my thirties (the world's fifties) I went through spasms of guilt because I spent so much time writing, because I wasn't like a good New England housewife and mother. When I scrubbed the kitchen floor, the family cheered. I couldn't make a decent pie crust. I always managed to get something red in with the white laundry in the washing machine, so that everyone wore streaky pink underwear. And with all the hours I spent writing, I was still not pulling my own weight financially.

So the rejection on the fortieth birthday seemed an unmistakable command: Stop this foolishness and learn to make cherry pie.

Madeleine gave up writing, put away the typewriter, and was filled with despair. Until, that is, she realized that in her head, she was busy writing a novel about failure. It was then that she knew that she had to write.

In the moment of failure I knew that the idea of Madeleine, who had to write in order to be, was not an image.

Madeleine L'Engle published over 60 books in her life time. I'm glad she never learned to make that cherry pie. What do you think? Do you foresee a time when you might give up? Have you had a cherry pie moment? One that made you know that you will write no matter what?