The Polarity of Writing, And A Clip From Psych

Yesterday, I felt compelled to write. 

What a wonderful feeling. I must confess, it didn't start out that way. I always feel like my manuscript and I are magnets of the same polarity. Repelling one another. Which is why I need to set aside time in which I must write--while in the company of other writers.

Writing with others keeps me accountable to the goals I pledge to myself.

So, yesterday, I made myself go to the library, made myself open the computer, made myself look at my manuscript.

And when my writing time was up, I wanted to keep going, and going, and going.

It's been a very long time since I've had this happen. Too long.

Now, it might seem weird that my general feeling about writing is repulsion. Since I spend most of my time thinking about my novel, planning it, knowing it, wanting to write. But the actual act of sitting down and doing so repels me on some level. Even though I write every day (or nearly every day).

I don't know if it is about confidence, or fear of failure, or self-fulfilling prophecy, or the next big psych term.

And maybe that is why the show Psych works out so well--Shawn is a crazy character who could never push himself into the confines of being a traditional detective. Even though he feels compelled to solve crime. Instead, he pretends to be psychic. So he can be silly and witty and fun. (I'm breaking out into "I Feel Pretty" lyrics in my head.) He works with his compulsion, not against it. He works in a way which suits his personality. He solves crime, not in spite of himself. Because of himself.


Okay, my favorite nickname for Gus, Control-Alt-Delete, didn't make it into the clip. :)

We need to write because of who we are, not in spite of it.

Not to say I don't need to push myself. But I don't need to push myself to be something which I am not.

So, I find out what works for me--what makes me sit down and open up the document. Because once that document is open, it compels me to do something with it. Whether write or revise. Once I'm in, I'm in. Yesterday I was compelled to stay in. If I could have written all day, I would have. And it would have been good. Good writing. Stuff with pitch and power and pizzazz.

I don't think it makes me less of a writer that I am compelled and repelled by writing all at the same time. I think that is why writing is so difficult. And I imagine every form of art and expression brings with it some ambivalence. Some push and pull. And when we are strong enough to wade through the repulsion, we create something worthwhile.

Writing is risky.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Do you react similarly to writing? Or to creating? Do you struggle with the push and pull? What tricks do you use to help you write?

Maybe next time I open my manuscript, I'll pretend I'm psychic. That I know what my characters will do and go through. Oh, wait. That is something which I already pretend. :)

Monday Meeting: Super Powers

So, I gave a birthday shout-out for my daughter, but didn't yet for my hubby. His birthday recently passed, and I have to mention it on this thanks-giving week.

One thing you must know about my husband--he's an amazing gift giver. He gave me a gift this fall to meet Erica Orloff, a writer whom I consider to be a mentor, at an amazing conference:

This picture is of me, Joe Williams, and the amazing Erica Orloff, at the James River Writers conference. It was one of the most valuable experiences in my writing career. Truly priceless.

He's that good.

You see, gift giving is his super power. My super power? This game. Yup. Totally useless super power.

I gave him what he asked for on his birthday. Because gift giving is not my super power.

This week, he gave me a dress from the show Project Runway. This dress. (It's the simply delicious cream dress, in case a different one pops up when you click over.) It wasn't my birthday (in fact, it was right after his), and there wasn't any rhyme or reason to give me a gift. Other than he had been waiting for the dress to be stocked so he could buy it for me. And that he loves giving people gifts. And that it's his super power.

What an awesome super power--to bring joy to people. He uses it quite well.

So, on this week of giving thanks, I will thank him for all the wonderful gifts he brings me--the experiences, the special things, his support for my writing, and the gift of him in my life.

Happy birthday, babe. And THANKS.

:)

Do you have a super power? Is it useful? Do you use your super power for good or evil? What are you thankful for?

My Version of Save The Cat, In Which I Actually Save A Cat

A few weeks ago, I came home from my kids' swim team practice to the sound of a kitten crying. My kitten, OF COURSE. Somewhere in the neighborhood. It was dark. It was 10pm at night. The kitten's cries sounded scared and pitiful. I grabbed a flashlight, and hunted down my petrified kitty. She was two doors down, and two stories up. Crying in a tree.

I spent two hours--until midnight--trying to coax her down. Flashing my flashlight down the trunk of the tree, bringing out food, calling to her. She just couldn't figure it out. She cried to me, and walked down each branch, parallel to the ground. My heart sank. I waited for my neighbors to call the police on the hooligan waving the flashlight in the grove of trees behind their house. It became clear to me that short of climbing the tree, that kitten was not coming down. I reassured myself that cats are nocturnal creatures, and that she would be fine during the long night in the tree. Maybe she would come down to eat the food.

Her cries followed me home, and into bed. I couldn't sleep.

And, in the morning, she was still crying. Up in the tree. I won't lie. The term "dumb kitten" definitely escaped my lips. I was tired, and worried, and wondering. How long can a cat survive in a tree? I had never heard of one falling out out of a tree.

My neighbors were divided into the camps of call-the-fire-department, and she'll-come-down-on-her-own. I was of the idea that since I have small children, I might need the aid of the fire department in the future, and didn't relish pissing them off due to a dumb kitten. In fact, they had already come to my aid once. But that is another story, for another post. :)

And, anyway, I had a plan.

I attached a stick to a long rope, and asked my husband to throw it over the branch, much to the concern of the very nice Irish woman who came running out of her house to find out what we were doing to her trees. I was amazed that she hadn't seen me out there the night before, or so early that morning. Once she saw our beautiful, sad kitten, she became our biggest fan.

My husband successfully looped the rope over the branch, and I attached our cat carrier bag to the rope, with the top open. I threw some cat food in there for good measure. Hubby pulled the carrier up to the cat, and like magic, the cat stepped right in. We lowered it to the ground, and I grabbed the kitten out. Finally safe, back on the ground.

The writing lesson for this? Well, you might be stuck right now. Stuck on a scene, stuck in the middle, stuck because you've been writing fast and furious and climbing those branches through NaNo. Wondering whether to call the fire department, or just to wait it out. And my advice to you is that you already know the solution. Your subconscious is working it out. It might not be conventional. But go ahead and think about what tools you have at your disposal, and build that cat elevator for your novel. Save the dumb cat. :)

For your viewing pleasure, here are some pictures: (keep in mind that I was emotionally involved with saving the kitten, and the pictures I snapped off are pretty awful. :))

See her eyes up there? They haunted me all night long.

Pitifully, trying to walk along the branches to safety.

Amazingly, she climbed right into her cat carrier.

Jelly's personal elevator. :)

Safe (relatively speaking), in Superman's arms.

So, how do you save the cat?

Monday Meeting: Getting Into the Groove

After an action packed weekend, I am more than ready to get back into writing. I'm meeting with writers at our library each day for a few hours. We have a sunny room, and lots of outlets nearby for our laptops. I am way behind any NaNo goal, but right on target for where I want to be with my drafting/revisions. I'm turning my face towards the sun this morning for a quick run, and then I'll be writing.

How about you? Let me know what your goals are this week. Let's keep each other accountable!

Happy 6th, Cowgirl

I can't believe that Cowgirl is six years old--and already giving out horseback riding lessons!

I hope all your midweek writing plans are going well. I'm getting into a good morning writing rhythm, and the fact that the internet access is unpredictable at the library is actually helping my wordcount.

Are you keeping to your goals? Would you like lessons from Cowgirl? And, yes. Cowgirl and her doll (which she named after herself) are dressed identically. :)